WILL I BE NORMAL WHEN I GROW UP?

A few years ago, Junior posed this question to me, "Mom, when I grow up, will I be normal?"

Now this is coming from a kid who rarely wears matching clothes, usually looks like he just rolled around in a plate of spaghetti, and gets tripped up by the lines in our sidewalk.  You tell me.  Will this kid grow up normal?  The verdict is still out...

I remember when he asked this question, a couple of thoughts popped into my mind, "What makes him think he's NOT normal?"  or "What is he noticing in our family that makes him concerned he doesn't have a chance at being normal?"  (Because, if you know our family, the kid has the deck stacked against him in BOTH arenas...)

Answer me this though....what IS normal?

I have to revert back to some wise words by the mother of a good friend of mine.  She once said, "Everybody is weird...it's just how well they hide it!"  Truer words were never spoken.  Don't we all hide something?  I know I do daily!!  When someone says, "How are you doing today?"  I always reply with, "Great! How are you?"  But deep down in the dark corners of my soul what I really want to say is "Well, my stove needs a repair I can't afford, I got a speeding ticket earlier this morning I'm scared to tell my husband about, I've gained 15 pounds since the last time I wore these jeans and if I don't get to a bathroom soon you're going to have a puddle on the floor.  How's your day?!"

Don't you have days like this?  What you WANT to say is nothing close to what you ACTUALLY say, but because none of us want to get hauled off to the mental ward we keep it tucked inside.

Is THAT normal?

(These are the questions I ponder in those 3 seconds I have alone with my thoughts before I pass out exhausted at night into my pillow...)

Typically, we hold in our freak-of-nature-side to the public and reveal it only for our family and maybe some very very very close friends.  But it doesn't stop there for me!  Though I think I can fool the world with my wardrobe selection, I do anything I can to hide my hips and thighs.  In certain social circles, I refrain from admitting how much I love "boring" documentaries on history and science and I rarely admit to others (at least upon first meeting them) that I am an only child for fear they will judge me as nerdy or spoiled.

Look at me trying to achieve what I see as being "normal."

So if my kids watch me doing this, should I expect any less from them? What I have come to find with Junior is he has trouble hiding things.  He is a very honest child....like make-your-jaw-drop-honest.  There isn't a thought that goes through his head that doesn't come out his mouth.  He wears what he likes no matter if there are holes or stains on it.  (He is also rarely bound by color coordination...)  He is content to be involved in an activity he enjoys no matter what his friends are doing around him.  So, when he asks questions like this, though part of me laughs, I have to wonder if he senses he is transparent almost to fault and this quality could make him be "not normal."

My oldest son, PW is also "not normal"...though he craves it. He wants so badly to be like other kids in his class.  Though I tell him his friends are all worried about the same thing he is -- trying to fit in -- he is sure HE is the odd man out.  I remind him he is "fearfully and wonderfully made"(Ps 139:14) but since he is hitting his "tween" years he is very aware of his differences. Yet take a gander at how my kid is different.  At 11 years old, he is a prayer warrior for his friends and family.  This kid prays for so many at night before bed and he never leaves anyone off his list.  He truly believes in the power of prayer.  Is that normal for an 11 year old?  I doubt it!  I hope and pray he stays as "un-normal" as possible with traits like this!!

I love the fact that my kids are different.  How boring would our world be if we were all alike?  I loved all the different personalities of my students in the classroom every year I taught school.  Each one added an element of uniqueness simply by being present!! Frustrating, sometimes, yes.  Entertaining?  Fun?  Loving?  Absolutely! Life in the classroom was made better BECAUSE they were different, not in spite of it! This is how God meant it to be!

I have two strange little boys.  They are quirky, they make tons of mistakes, they say things that aren't socially acceptable and they act in ways they shouldn't for their age -- and I love it.  Will Junior be normal when he grows up?  Doubtful.  Neither will PW.  And this Momma is just fine with that!

How weird are your kids?  I would love to hear!! Please share!!

HOW OFTEN DO YOU SAY "SPLEEN"?

As I have posted earlier, Junior came down with a case of mono a couple of weeks ago.  After his doctor's appointment, it was found that his spleen was enlarged.  The doctor made it very clear he needed to be careful about his activities and not injure the spleen thus causing the spread of infection throughout his body or the need for surgery.

As the mother of a child who has problems falling down while standing up, this caused me great alarm.  Though the doctor kept mentioning contact sports as the biggest factor to cause injury my thoughts went elsewhere....floors, chairs, walls, our cat....the air, etc.  All these can give poor ol' Junior a run for his money in staying upright.  Needless to say, my level of concern was a bit heightened.

Though the doctor did an excellent job explaining to Junior how careful he needed to be, I decided I needed to put my own "mommy spin" on this issue.  As we drove home from the doctor, I did what I could to make sure Junior understood just how serious injuring his spleen could be.  I didn't want to scare him, but...no, I take that back...I wanted to scare him. My boys tend to have a mother who doesn't get too concerned about ailments and such.  I mean, if they come to me carrying their own torn off arm, sure, I'll take them to the doctor.  But in my opinion, aches, pains, sniffles, and such can be taken care of with a little Advil, sleep and lots of water.  I wanted to make sure he knew how concerned his MOTHER was and that this wasn't an ordinary sickness.

Our conversation covered information about where the spleen was located, what major function it served in our body and why it was so important NOT to injure it.  By the time we were done talking, he knew he could fill his whole body with infection, possibly endure surgery, and then worry the rest of his life about getting sick.  Too much doom and gloom?  Maybe.  But the message was received as is now evident in our new topics of conversations...

Since our drive home, we now hear these kinds of phrases in our house...

"Mom, I think my spleen is aching, I better sit down for a while."
"Mom, can your spleen make you sleepy?  I am really tired."
"If I eat too much chocolate, will that hurt my spleen?"
"Is there anything I can do to make my spleen heal faster?"
"Mom, I am really hungry tonight, and I think my spleen is too."
"I know I can't sled, but can I play in the snow or will the cold hurt my spleen?"

On Saturday we went bowling with some family members but before we got out of the car, Junior asked, "Will bowling hurt my spleen?" Oh sheesh child!!

I guess I need to be thankful he took my words to heart.  Every. Single. Word. Especially the "spleen" word!!

I have to chuckle as I never dreamed our family would use the word "spleen" so much in a day - heck, in our LIFETIME.  I guess if Junior ever takes anatomy in high school or college he is set on location and function.  He can remember back to the days of yore when we did what we could to protect this vital organ of his.

It does make a mother chuckle though.  I thought when he got his stuffed hyena from a  zoo visit we'd never find ourselves saying such ridiculous things as, "Has anyone seen Junior's hyena?" on a regular basis....never say never, right?

I'm guessing "spleen" is right up there with "hyena" on words rarely used in an American household.

Oh the silly things that happen in families!!  I'm sure your family has crazy stories like these as well.  I would love to read about them!  Please post in the comments your silly story!

KEEN SENSE OF THE OBVIOUS

A keen sense of the obvious.  We all know that ONE person who has it, right?  Maybe a family member...maybe a friend.  We love them to pieces but sometimes when they open their mouth...well...what can I say?  Blissfully unaware. For some reason, this week has been chuck-a-luck full of moments like this for me.  So have a read.  Be amused by the silly people in my life!  

Earlier this week I went to get a haircut.  I had been putting off making an appointment with my hairdresser simply because I had been busy.  Unfortunately, it was getting to the point where I needed a hair cut or a dog tag, so I went to one of those "walk-in" shops.

The minute I walked in, one of the friendly stylists greeted me with this question, "Hi!  Welcome to {STORE NAME}!  Do you need a hair cut?"

Stop right there.  What?

Call me crazy, but I found this a wee bit odd.  This isn't a place where you get your hair colored, or permed.  The only service they provide are short-order hair cuts, so unless you're lost, the only reason to enter an establishment such as this would be for a haircut.  The entire time I was getting my trim, the same greeting was said over and over. I may be over-exposing a somewhat evil side as reveal my next thought to you, but there was a huge part of me who desperately wanted someone to walk in and say, "No, I need my tires rotated.  Don't you do that here?"

I know.  I need help.  (But come on, you laughed a little, right?)

This funny experience made me think of the comedian Bill Engvall.  In the 90s, he was popular with his "Here's your sign" jokes.  The point of his one-liners were some people ask really stupid questions, and for this they should be forced to wear a sign.  The sign would let the rest of the population know you're a "stupid-question-asker."  Here are a few of his jokes just to give you an idea:

"I  pulled into one of those side of the road gas stations because one of my tires was going flat.  An attendant came up and asked, 'Tire go flat?'  I said, 'Nope, I was just driving along and the other three just swelled right up on me!'  Here's your sign..."

"My kids and I were flying a kite at a local park.  A man walked up and said, 'Flying a kite?'  I said, 'Nope, we're fishing for birds!'  Here's your sign..."

"I came home from hunting with a big ol buck tied to my truck.  Neighbor came out and asked, 'You shoot a buck?'  I said, 'No, they were giving them away with the purchase of every new truck!' Here's your sign..."

You get the gist...

With all this in mind, I couldn't help but think of my little Junior.  I swear, he could keep Mr. Engvall in material for years.  Let me give you a taste of Junior's keen sense of the obvious..

Just last week, I was a bit late getting to the school parking lot to pick up the kids.  I have a general area I usually park, but on this day I was late enough I had to park elsewhere.  Usually, Junior is the first to the car, but on this day his older brother beat him.

ME:  Hey bud!  Where you been?  PW beat you to the car today!

JUNIOR: Well, I got in the wrong car by accident.

PW:  You did?  How did you do that?

JUNIOR:  Well, it looked just like ours and was parked where Mom usually parks

ME:  Yeah, I got here a little late so I had to park over here.  Do you know who's car you got in?

JUNIOR:  No, Mom.  I told you it wasn't our car.  Different people were in it.  That's why I knew it wasn't ours.

Hmm.  I feel like this is a "Here's your sign" moment...

Anyone know Bill's number?

Well, to the rest of you who come in contact with others like my poor Junior, let me just say, there is more to them than their clueless comments.  Be patient.  Love them anyway.  Know they have a mother who has loved them through these "obvious" moments and more than likely has done what she can to prepare them for the world.  And most of all this....they ask those questions IN SPITE of their mother's teachings...not because...

Hope I gave you a giggle!  Have a great week!