THE LIFE OF A BOY MOM

Today after playing outside on our acreage, my boys came in the house to show me a "disovery!"

PW: (truly excited and holding something fuzzy and bloody in his hand) MOM!  Look what Junior and I found!!  We think Marty (our stinky hound dog) must have killed a coyote or raccoon or rabbit!!  Look what was left behind!!

ME: (observing the bloody fluff in his hand and wondering WHY he thought he needed to touch it AND bring it in my house)  I see!!  Well, I'm not sure what kind of animal this came from, but how about we throw it back out side and you go wash your hands immediately in Chlorox?

PW:  I can just throw it away in the trash here Mom.

ME:  PW, I'd rather we make a rule that all dead animal carcasses or pieces of carcass stay outside

PW:  Oh, okay.  And then I just have to wash my hands and I'm good?

JUNIOR:  (piping up)  PW, you don't want to get rabies, right Mom?

ME:  Yep! (thankful at least one of them remembered a "dead animal conversation" we'd had)

This is a tiny example of a boy mom's life.  Don't get me wrong -- I LOVE my boys!!  I love their curiosities, excitement, energy levels, imaginations and total sincerity in life.  Yet, there are days when I can't help but think, "I wonder if the mother of a girl has ever had dead animal parts in her house..."

This is not to say I don't enjoy their raw outlook on life -- and all things dead and decaying.  I LOVE the out-door-sy-ness of my boys.  I love the outdoors!  I love baseball and science experiments and leaves and bugs and weird stuff found outside!!  BUT, I am girl who also likes a clean house, clean car, clean rooms, and all messes cleaned up promptly after being made.  I'm sure there are plenty of girls who like many of the same things my boys like, but when I talk to moms of girls their lives seem so much different.  There's more "pretty" in it.  We do not have "pretty" here.  We have fun, but definitely not "pretty!"

Just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about, here is a list of things that are currently established or happening in our house...

Junior has a piece of bone he discovered sitting on his dresser, because nothing says "classy" like dead animal parts.

We have frequent "handling instructions" in regards to the touching dead animals or their remaining decaying pieces.  These instructions are usually "DO NOT TOUCH," "PLEASE DO NOT BRING INTO HOUSE" or "IF YOU HAVE TOUCH, TO PLEASE USE A SHOVEL"

PW has all his belts fastened together in some sort of a pulley-device-contraption in his room.  What this is to be used for, I'm not quite sure.

Both their rooms (despite my best cleaning efforts) always have a touch of that "smelly feet" aroma...usually because they often get their shoes wet when walking outside.  We hold tightly to the philosophy of "Why avoid mud or water when you can walk right through it?"  The fact that I haven't bought stock in Odor Eaters yet is beyond me...

The latest joke at the dinner table is to say "Curious George, brought to you today by MY FARTS!" as many times as possible.  It is to date the funniest thing ever....evidently.

There are constant reminders that running in the house, jumping on the beds, throwing balls at the wall, and sliding down the stairs on Rubbermaid lids are NOT indoor activities.  Much debate and protest has ensued but the ruling still stands.  

Closets are an "open at your own risk" kind of activity.  

It is no big deal to walk around half naked or scratch ones self at any given point in time during the day.  

Sticky handles exist EVERYWHERE.

This is the house of a boy mom.  I clean and scrub and organize and within 20 minutes its as if my efforts never existed.  I keep them as groomed and showered as possible but, it often feels like the amount of effort I put into making them look good never truly presents itself when we are in public -- you know, where people with eyes can see us?  I work daily to keep my house picked up and clean though it is a never ending chore.  I constantly feel like a woman standing in a rain storm trying to towel off and can't understand why she isn't dry yet.

I have dreams that someday they will wake up loving to take showers and running the vacuum for me, but I am guessing that day will arrive the same day I get my pet unicorn.  Until then, I will continue to love them dirty, wild and free.  Their messes frustrate me, but when they bring me wildflowers they've pulled while walking through the mud and yuck it's hard to be too upset.  Kind of even makes the stinky rooms worth it.

I'm a boy mom.

And I'm a lucky one at that.